Oh! The ending notes! So daunting! Well, hopefully I can keep the stamina to continue this into my life of Littleton. How do I sum up the events of the last month or so of Filipino living? You know what's so funny is that when it's not you the time seems like it goes so fast, but when it is you, it feels like an eternity. Well, here are at least some of the things that happened my last bit:

1. Miranda came! We got a new intern who was a

perfect addition and I said

it was even as though we were all sisters with our ages going from 24 to 18 stair-steppi

ng 2 years between each of us. And sometimes we all felt like Jeri's little ducklings when we

were all together. Miranda had been learning midwifery for seven months before she came to our Shiphrah and had been in the Filipino culture the same amount of time, which was really nice because she was so helpful right off the bat since she was bringing pre-acquired skills with her. She even showed us some new fun things we had

n't no

ticed before like buko juice sold on the streets

and massage salad made from k

amoti tops, kangkon, olive oil, calamansi juice, and peanuts!mmm. And the movies she brought worked as entertainment for many an evening at home. We all l

oved having Miranda!

2. I worked through some thoughts about midwifery and my future in the field. I realized that the core mission

of Shiphrah was the empowerment of

the women and to give hospitality to the families- true hospitality. Midwifery has been simply a tool to aid in these core purposes. One nig

ht

right before Miranda came (which is sad because she heard about it constan

tly) we heard a man named Gordon Smith talk at the church I atten

ded with Jeri and Sara. He talked about God's purpose for our lives and basically said that our passions should be considered when considering our future because we are not given those passions without reason. He asked the question of what makes us an

gry to help us find out what our passions ar

e. Through all of this and the time that followed I realized how much of a transitional and growing stage of my life I am in. I'm not meant to know exactly what I think about everything right now. I'm meant to listen and to learn. I don't know what my core passions are. So, I am leery to

decide my future plans regarding midwifery and though opening a community supported birthing home in downtown Denver is attractive to me I

don't want to settle on anything until I find my core passions that that might be the foundation for what ever I do. I realized that I don't wa

nt to be a midwife just to pay the bills and prove to my relatives that I did something with my life. I need something far more substantial than that. I need a reason to care for these women and thier fami

lies and I know that through life-experiences I'll realize my true passions.

3. Marli, Kim and all the midwives took a lovely trip to the beach, while Jeri, Deborah, Miranda, Becky, new friends of ours, Naomie an

d Red, and I stayed at the birthing home to Paanakan-sit. We sat around, got to know Red and Naomie who run a couple houses for women who need homes, ate Deborah's delicious salad, and took care of any women who wondered i

n. We had two labors, which ended in two transports. Becky's husband brought their project

or screen, spaghetti, and desert, and we had a movie night! It was a fun time.

4. I got some la

st-bit-of-time-in-the-Philippines list done, which

incl

uded, visiting Red and Naomie's homes for mothers, visiting the convent (I'd never been to a convent before) where we got a special tour, learned suturing on chicken breasts, acquired basic I.V. training, learned injections, ate a

last home-made tortilla dinner, which Sara p

lanned just for me because of how much I love that meal, played soccer with the neighborhood boys, hung out with Hope and Leah one last time,

baked cookies with Kim

at her cousin's house,

went to SM TayT

ay mall on a jeepney on one of the only rainy nights there were in the dry season, and then proceded

to dance and scream in t

he rain the whole way u

p the hill, enjoyed last prenatals, lead the prenatal exercises, and had a graduation/ thank you to the midwives ceremony.

5. For our graduation ceremony we had a list of things that the midwives told us we couldn't graduate without doing. We couldn't graduate unless we

learned the song Bahay Kubo, which lists all the

vegetables, so:

Kim and I sang let's just say our own version of the song and threw in as many veggies we knew.

We had to handwash o

ur own clothes, which we had finally gotten the hang of and been doing for a while. And eat balut. The following video may be traumatizing and not appropriate for younger, weaker-stomached people. You ask us to eat a fertalized duck still in the egg with feathers on it. We eat a fertalized duck still in egg with feathers on it. Look up "Kim and Lauren's Encounter with Balut in the Philippines" on youtube.com

Yes that was the worst thing I've ever been through. No nothing has ever been worse. No, don't try this. Ever. Anyways, the rest of the ceremony included a watermelon acting as a baby bathing contest, inactments by all the students of funny even

ts that had happened at the Paanakan including the burial of a doppler accidental

ly in with the placenta. And graduation certificates that were signed by all the midwives -so precious.

6. One of the last births I was involved in I was actually not catching. No, I was in, "the best place in the world," as Jeri calls it. I was sitting behind the woman supporting her while she was pushing on the birthing stool. In this place you can feel all this immense strength the woman is giving and you can be there for her to lean back on and rest between contractions and you can see everything she can see. Her husband was at work or something. Kim was catching the baby and Miranda was recording. It was such an awesome feeling of being a team with these wonderful women as we helped this strong woman give birth. It just felt s

o right. One funny moment during the birth was when almost simultaneously we noticed a cock roach that was slinking around the birthing bed and all over the room. I said to Miranda if it touched me she had to KILL it! We were trying so hard to not alarm the mother and so all of this was conveyed in whispers and facial expressions. The little terrorist disappeared eventually and was soon forgotten. After the birth, since the mother didn't have much for her baby, I ran down to my room and retrieved a package sent by my mother holding two quilts a friend of hers had made for families without much. I asked the mom, which one she liked and explained who had made them and that it was a special gift for her. She was so happy and I heard Ate Grace saying how nice it was for Lauren's friends to send such a special gift.

7. Last night we went to Jeri and Sara's for a dinner of pizza! We all ordered the yummy stuff, shared our balut video(afterwards as to not upset anyone's appetite), and said goodbye to the Gustafsons, and began a girls all-nighter party! We opened a bottle of wine, watched Leverage shows, which has been a tradition of Sara's and mine, watched the "Delivery" episode of "The Office", did henna, had a squatting competition, and generally partied! Darren came to pick me up and as I sat in the front seat and waved goodbye I was overwhelmed at having 5 women I loved so much standing there and knowing I was leaving them-though not forever. It was a powerful feeling.

8. In the airport I proceeded to continue henna on myself. I wrote "Miles Ahead" on my ankle which is from a Myles Davis album-the last thing I listened to in the car on the way to the airport. Now I'm just seeing what will come my way in the miles ahead.

Farewell Philippine adventure. Hello the rest of my life.

A Sundrenched World

Back to the birthing home here are some pictures of what I do!

Here I am measuring

the woman's belly to make sure she's growing. The midwife on the right will recheck what I do.

I am cleaning the instruments after a birth. Dirty business.

Kim and I were extremely excited

about the fake pelvis and adjoining

baby doll. It's great for learning!

This is at the graduation for the women who came to every "seminar" we had. The seminars include nutrition, childcare, birth, breast feeding, reproductive health care and etc.

These women have been very committed to coming every week. We give them a party, with food, games, gift bag of baby supplies, and a certificate.

One of the games we had consisted of two dads

having to dress a panda

while blindfolded with the direction of his wife. It was hilarious!

One of our students at the birthing home

bought us a new refrigerator! This has been really nice! We now have ice and we can put our water in to be cooled and we are able to buy more things that have to be refrigerated. It's really funny; we shorten refrigerator to "fridge" and the mid

wives shorten it to "ref". : ) This is Jorge the mission driver showing the excitement we all shared over the new appliance! Se the size difference!

This week we gained a new apprentice, Miranda, which makes four of us! It's great to have these relationships here with girls so like minded. Miranda is really enjoyable to be around!

It's so great living and working here. Being such apart of these women's lives. It comes with struggles too, but the midwives are so gracious and care so much about us apprentices.

Land of the Elephant

After arriving at our hostel Kim and I went out to eat and meandered through the market around the corner. The first thing I noticed about Thailand was the aestheticism of the country. It was beautiful!
So, of a country I thoroughly enjoyed here are the things I really enjoyed of it: night market; We were both overwhelmed by

the beautiful cloths and crafts

the Thailand markets to offer.

Let's just say I have a new wardrobe! Just kidding.....sort of.

fresh food and juice from the street vendors; delicious!

The flower market; I bought a bouquet of roses and Kim orchids, both amazingly cheap.

river rides,

beautiful golden temples;

reflexology and Thai massages,

eating grasshoppers and silk worms;

we met a backpacking couple, Courtney and Lee, over breakfast at our hostel and after a day or two set up a night to go out for dinner and while sitting near the road we saw a bicycle vendor selling bugs and grabbed a mix bag for 20 bhat. We didn't realize it was buying us an evening of fun!

and Little India where we bought incense, bought henna and got henna done on our arms, and enjoyed excellent samosas!

We loved this visit and yet when we hopped into the taxi and heard "Nobody Nobody but You" on the

radio and were able to call our taxi driver "Kuya", we felt we were returning to some sort of home.

from one adventure to the next!

Every time I write on here again I think to myself; has it really been that long? The past month or so has flown by as I expect the rest of my time here to do. So, no boring with long details as I sometimes default to, the past month I have:

1. enjoyed a spontaneous trip to China Town on Chinese New year and encountered the thrill of the dragon (quite literally in my face), did some jewelry shopping, had the best siopao! What an adventure! I felt like a little girl at a theme park.

2. Started forming more of my own ideas about being a midwife and what my purpose is as a midwife. I realize that I need more motivation than just to be a midwife. It's still not all written out or anything, I have a lot of thoughts spin

ning in my head.

3. Encountered more frustration and sorrow- reality check for a midwifery student. Last week we had a woman come in for her normal checkup at 36 weeks. When no heartbeat was found with the doppler the midwives sent her to get an ultrasound. She returned that afternoon with tears streaming down her face. What could we do? When everyone had done right at the end of the day all we could do was be there surrounding her in love. Also, one of my continuety of care women was transported, and a woman I had been with for many hours of her labor was also. When you put so much into something, emotionally and physica

lly and mentally letting go is pretty rough.

4. My sister visited me! I learned so much from her and had a ton of fun. I was a little nervous about her coming just because I feel I've changed a lot. We had a great time though! The time was so short however. Enough to go to the movies, spend a day at prenatals, see the Intramuras, go to the beach and attend church and the sunday market and have lunch and listen to Jeri and her students discussing their community developm

ent projects, and chat with Sara. I am so grateful she came so that I can be understood when I came home and act like a nut! haha!

Up next is my trip here in Thailand to record. So far it feels like I'm in a fairy tale so get excited! : ) Carpe Dieme!

After Christmas I went to the beach with Leah, her sister Melissa, and Hope. We visited a spot called puerta galera. It was a very relaxing time and as my second beach trip of my life, I enjoyed it very much. Sailing along on the ferry to and from the destination I understood the power and majesty of the waves as never before. Being from a land locked state it was therapeutic to watch the defiant waves-servant to no human. 

  Vacation was great, but getting back to work was wonderful! Going to the beach was a great break but equally as valuable or more was the feeling that I don’t want to lay on the beach my whole life and I do want to learn, work, and live in the birthing home now. So, coming back the next few weeks were the best 

weeks here of my time thus far. I had energy and was eager to continue living the experience that I came here to live! 

   I have now been in on 33 births and handled (caught) 23 of them! 

   About two and a half weeks ago a girl named Kim came to the birthing home. We hadn’t known when she was coming or really much at all about her. She moved in and it’s been great! We have started a few little rituals 

together including starting the day off well with a nice breakfast and eventually that has turned into us buying our food and eating together, which has helped me to eat much healthier! It’s really fun to make nice breakfasts. Since I have always had night time rituals i.e. adventures in odyssey with my siblings before bed and reading a psalm before going to sleep with my roommates this summer at Summit, we started working on some yoga poses and reading 

a short story by George Mcdonald before bed. We are trying to make a ritual Office watching night, which is so much fun, because I had been watching the office before on my own and didn’t have anyone laughing with me. So, Kim has definitely been a breath of fresh air for me! 

   For my birthday I was really hoping to be able to deliver a baby even though I had some plans for the day with Jeri, Sara, and Deborah. A woman came in close to midnight on the 21st. Her contractions didn’t seem to be very strong so I went to lay down for a few winks of sleep (a habit I’ve since stopped), Lornie came in and told me she was fully and I got up and checked my phone, which said 12:08. Yay! my birthday, right? Well, I go into the room and the clock was about 20 minutes slow, the baby was born about 5 minutes later and 

Kim and I are the only ones to know that this baby though recorded to be born on the 21st was really born on the 22nd! Later that day her mother hemorrhaged and was sent to the hospital so we’ve had quite a bit of baby time with her. Her name is S

amantha and we call her Ebon, which means bird in Tagalog. 

  Other than that great experience I went with Deborah, Sara, and Jeri on a girls day out to Mega Mall, where we started the day off with Starbuck

s, shopped, had some fantastic  noodles for lunch and got sung to surprisingly at Krispy Kreme’s! Then later had a wonderful dinner with Sarah and Uchay at Jeri's house. 

  Currently I am working o

n be

ing more proactive in the birthing home. 

Jeri has been meeting with

 us at the birthing home every Thursday afternoon to discus births and ask questions, which has been so helpful. Both Kim and I are meeting with women who will become our continuity. Though I only have 3 more months (I’m half way, wow!) I will be meeting with these women at each of their prenatal check ups and therefore will have a better relationship with them and will have such greater labor and birth experiences with them as a midwife student. Kim and I have an area on our cabinet door where we put things that will encourage us. Here’s one of the quotes we put up. “ But helping a woman in labor involves much more than these simple tasks. It involves empathy, intuition, and inspiration; it is an art.“ It’s so encouraging to know that though we aren’t midwives officially we do h

ave opportunities to let these women feel loved and valued and give them a great birthing experience. 

   Someone asked me last week if from this experience I was thinking of becoming a midwife. Well, I’ve wanted to be a midwife since I was four, but yes this experience has confirmed it! I love midwifery. I love helping women with something 

so intimate, being such a support in her largest struggle. It is the highest career I could pursue. It’s more than a career. 

  Now, since yesterday we have a new addition to the midwife student team. Her name is Marli. It’s nice to be able to help  others and relate to them and help them with what I also experienced when I first came. 

   

   

Christmas in the Philippines

Christmas in the Philippines: How to explain? There are several interesting traditions the Filipinos hold that, forgive me if you like them, I think are rediculous! First is one called a “Merry Christmas”. The phrase has been turned into a verb here and is similar to trick or treating, but is basically the poor going to the nicer (middle class) houses and begging. Second, is a Spanish tradition called Noche Buena and it is a feast held at midnight of Christmas Eve. My question is who wants to eat at 12 o’clock at night? Third, is something I forget the name of; it’s where one attends 9 masses before Christmas at 4 in the morning in order to get one wish. Also, the Filipino Christmas lasts really from Christmas day till January 6th, which is another holiday called Three Kings Day or just Kings Day, giving us twelve days of Christmas. So you can see that in the midst of palm trees and sunny days I am surrounded by people crazy about Christmas with their odd traditions. :) 

  Now one thing that has been fun being here is learning different family’s traditions-little ones that is. Do you have Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve or Christmas day? Do you do stockings or as my new Romanian friend does it shoes by the door? Do you have a special breakfast like cinnamon rolls? and etc? It makes me think of the traditions I’d like to do with my own family some day.  

   So, for Christmas Eve I helped bake home-made buns and started making the eggnog recipe that my mom gave to me over skype. I got on an FX and met up with Hope and Leah and Hope’s mom and Aunt and Leah’s sister Melissa for dinner at a mall near the church I’ve been attending. We ate dinner and then headed over to a wonderful Christmas Eve service at the church at 10 o’clock where we all lit little candles and sang Christmas songs together and read the Christmas story. It was really beautiful. Afterwards we caught a cab back to Leah and Hopes temporary residence ( a missionary’s house who was out of town for the holidays) and there Leah and Melissa included us in on their family’s Christmas tradition of getting new matching pjs and wearing them. : ) 

  Christmas morning I woke up early walked to the gate with Leah caught a cab to the FX station and rode back in time to help with “Merry Christmas”. We handed out 7 tons of rice, many balloons, crayons, and toys. After this I took a little nap and then we headed off to Deborah and Darren’s house where we had cinnamon rolls and fruit for breakfast and opened stockings. They made me feel so included in their family and provided me with a stocking of my own that was full to the top and a gift from Sandy Claus who was the traditional gift giver of Jeri’s family growing up. We then headed back over to Jeri’s house for present opening and preparation for Christmas dinner. Around 3:15 we had people show up for the dinner and I started the finish of my eggnog. Eggnog is not sold in this country so it was a special treat to have it especially for those who’ve been here for several Christmas’s. So all the women just took over the kitchen and wala we had a beautiful and delicious Christmas dinner! Jeri, Sara, and I cleaned up the last bit of dishes (most had been done throughout the day by guests mostly). And that was my Christmas. I might add that I wore a short-sleeve blouse and shorts the whole day!